The Pursuit of Happiness

I have cried the most this year. I have been heartbroken the most this year. So much so a big portion of my heart has calcified. Figuratively and not literally. I no longer want to fill the pages with agony and sadness. Indeed, everyone has their own destined Rizq. And I shall hold onto this and remain placid.

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All the Wondering Killed the Cat

What if. What if we hadn’t met? What if we didn’t know of each other’s existence? What if we hadn’t shared? What if we hadn’t got to know each other? We wouldn’t have been wondering a lot. Wondering if the other person feels the same as you do. Wondering if maybe, all of this had no depth to begin with.

We wouldn’t have wasted so much energy and time taking a journey that never had a direction. Doing and saying things for the sake of doing and saying things. Feeling confused when we didn’t have to in the first place.

And what if we had met much later in our lives? Would things have turned out differently? Would things have been better? Would we have been in the know? In the know of what our feelings would be.

So much wondering has been done. And so many “we” have been used. Without realizing that I was the only one wondering. The only one asking questions. Wanting to know the answer. Wanting to be in the know. Wanting to stop the confusion. Just me. Not you. Because you’re already wondering about someone else.